A few Monday afternoon .. hoping it was warmer jokes !

TheBigDog · 08-03-2010, 03:25 PM

Love the chloroform one!!

TheBigDog · 08-03-2010, 03:29 PM

Some CLASSIC tommy cooper... legend.

‘So I rang up a local building firm, I said ‘I want a skip outside my house.’ He said ‘ I’m not stopping you.’

Went to the paper shop – it had blown away

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any.

‘You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said ‘Parking Fine.’ So that was nice.’

A man walked into the doctor’s, The doctor said ‘I haven’t seen you in a long time’
The man replied, ‘I know I’ve been ill’

A man walked into the doctor’s, he said ‘ I’ve hurt my arm in several places’
The doctor said ‘well don’t go there any more’

‘So I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up, and said ‘Who’s speaking please?’ And a voice said, ‘You are.’

‘So I rang up my local swimming baths. I said ‘ Is that the local swimming baths?’ He said ‘ It depends where you’re calling from.’

I bought some HP sauce the other day. It’s costing me 6p a month for the next 2 years.

**DazBlackCSL** · 08-03-2010, 03:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheBigDog

Love the chloroform one!!

Made me giggle too !

Bounce · 08-03-2010, 05:31 PM

Very good.

08-03-2010, 03:25 PM	#1
TheBigDog Mode S1 - Starting Out Join Date: Mar 2010 Posts: 29 Casino cash: $362	Love the chloroform one!! __________________ According to Newton's Law of Motion, when a car going 60 miles per hour in one direction gets hit by a mosquito going one mile per hour in the opposite direction, the car will slow down one-millionth of a mile per hour

08-03-2010, 03:29 PM	#2
TheBigDog Mode S1 - Starting Out Join Date: Mar 2010 Posts: 29 Casino cash: $362	Some CLASSIC tommy cooper... legend. ‘So I rang up a local building firm, I said ‘I want a skip outside my house.’ He said ‘ I’m not stopping you.’ Went to the paper shop – it had blown away I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any. ‘You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said ‘Parking Fine.’ So that was nice.’ A man walked into the doctor’s, The doctor said ‘I haven’t seen you in a long time’ The man replied, ‘I know I’ve been ill’ A man walked into the doctor’s, he said ‘ I’ve hurt my arm in several places’ The doctor said ‘well don’t go there any more’ ‘So I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up, and said ‘Who’s speaking please?’ And a voice said, ‘You are.’ ‘So I rang up my local swimming baths. I said ‘ Is that the local swimming baths?’ He said ‘ It depends where you’re calling from.’ I bought some HP sauce the other day. It’s costing me 6p a month for the next 2 years. __________________ According to Newton's Law of Motion, when a car going 60 miles per hour in one direction gets hit by a mosquito going one mile per hour in the opposite direction, the car will slow down one-millionth of a mile per hour

08-03-2010, 05:31 PM	#4
Bounce CSL Register Uber-poster! Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Cornwall Posts: 7,057 Casino cash: $35793	Very good.