Couple of funnies...

[Yanto]

Met a beautiful girl down at the park today. Sparks flew, she fell at my feet and we ended up having sex there and then. God, I love my new Taser!

Just booked a table for Valentine’s Day for me and the wife. Bound to end in tears though - she's crap at snooker.

Now on sale at IKEA – beds for lesbians: no nuts or screwing involved, it’s all tongue and groove

The lead actor in the local pantomime production of Aladdin was anally raped by the gay genie on stage last night - to be fair the audience did try to warn him.

Due to a water shortage in Ireland, Dublin swimming baths have announced they are closing lanes 7 and 8.

That's all folks....