Your 'Economic Stimulus' payment

DuncanR · 27-10-2011, 12:40 PM

Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ?
A. It is money that the government will send to taxpayers.

Q.. Where will the government get this money ?
A. From taxpayers.
Q. So the government is giving me back my own money ?
A. Only a smidgen of it.
Q. What is the purpose of this payment ?
A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?
A. Shut up.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.K. economy by spending your stimulus cheque wisely.
* If you spend the stimulus money at Asda or Tesco, the money will go to China , Taiwan or Sri Lanka .
* If you spend it on petrol, your money will go to the Arabs.
* If you purchase a computer, it will go to India , Taiwan or China ..
* If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala ...
* If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea .
* If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan .
* If you pay your credit cards off, or buy shares, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.Instead, keep the money in the UK by:
1) Spending it at car boot sales, or
2) Going to night clubs, or
3) Spending it on prostitutes, or
4) Beer or whisky or
5) Tattoos.

(These are the only UK businesses still operating in the U.K. . ) Conclusion:
Be patriotic - go to a night club with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a car boot sale and drink beer day and night !No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help.

Bounce · 27-10-2011, 05:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DuncanR

Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ?
A. It is money that the government will send to taxpayers.

Q.. Where will the government get this money ?
A. From taxpayers.
Q. So the government is giving me back my own money ?
A. Only a smidgen of it.
Q. What is the purpose of this payment ?
A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?
A. Shut up.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.K. economy by spending your stimulus cheque wisely.
* If you spend the stimulus money at Asda or Tesco, the money will go to China , Taiwan or Sri Lanka .
* If you spend it on petrol, your money will go to the Arabs.
* If you purchase a computer, it will go to India , Taiwan or China ..
* If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala ...
* If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea .
* If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan .
* If you pay your credit cards off, or buy shares, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.Instead, keep the money in the UK by:
1) Spending it at car boot sales, or
2) Going to night clubs, or
3) Spending it on prostitutes, or
4) Beer or whisky or
5) Tattoos.

(These are the only UK businesses still operating in the U.K. . ) Conclusion:
Be patriotic - go to a night club with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a car boot sale and drink beer day and night !No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help.

Sounds about right Dunc.

**shimmy** · 27-10-2011, 05:52 PM

thank feck your back Duncan

mattCSLnut · 27-10-2011, 06:45 PM

Sound advice that

Great to have you back dUNk

Quote:

Originally Posted by DuncanR

Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ?
A. It is money that the government will send to taxpayers.

Q.. Where will the government get this money ?
A. From taxpayers.
Q. So the government is giving me back my own money ?
A. Only a smidgen of it.
Q. What is the purpose of this payment ?
A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?
A. Shut up.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.K. economy by spending your stimulus cheque wisely.
* If you spend the stimulus money at Asda or Tesco, the money will go to China , Taiwan or Sri Lanka .
* If you spend it on petrol, your money will go to the Arabs.
* If you purchase a computer, it will go to India , Taiwan or China ..
* If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala ...
* If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea .
* If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan .
* If you pay your credit cards off, or buy shares, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.Instead, keep the money in the UK by:
1) Spending it at car boot sales, or
2) Going to night clubs, or
3) Spending it on prostitutes, or
4) Beer or whisky or
5) Tattoos.

(These are the only UK businesses still operating in the U.K. . ) Conclusion:
Be patriotic - go to a night club with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a car boot sale and drink beer day and night !
No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help.

northernjim · 27-10-2011, 07:51 PM

Jurn · 28-10-2011, 08:35 AM

**CraigMillwardCroft** · 28-10-2011, 10:16 AM

Very true

Yanto · 29-10-2011, 01:40 AM

27-10-2011, 12:40 PM	#1
DuncanR CSL Register Uber-poster! Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Olney, Bucks Posts: 3,735 Casino cash: $9984	Your 'Economic Stimulus' payment Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ? A. It is money that the government will send to taxpayers. Q.. Where will the government get this money ? A. From taxpayers. Q. So the government is giving me back my own money ? A. Only a smidgen of it. Q. What is the purpose of this payment ? A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy. Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ? A. Shut up. Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.K. economy by spending your stimulus cheque wisely. * If you spend the stimulus money at Asda or Tesco, the money will go to China , Taiwan or Sri Lanka . * If you spend it on petrol, your money will go to the Arabs. * If you purchase a computer, it will go to India , Taiwan or China .. * If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala ... * If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea . * If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan . * If you pay your credit cards off, or buy shares, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.Instead, keep the money in the UK by: 1) Spending it at car boot sales, or 2) Going to night clubs, or 3) Spending it on prostitutes, or 4) Beer or whisky or 5) Tattoos. (These are the only UK businesses still operating in the U.K. . ) Conclusion: Be patriotic - go to a night club with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a car boot sale and drink beer day and night !No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help. __________________ " I use Gleaming Kleen.... for that new car look " I wish I had used - Race Data Systems - Motorsport Data Loggers forgive me Nathan !

27-10-2011, 05:52 PM	#3
shimmy CSL Register Uber-poster! Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Uk Posts: 14,646 Casino cash: $43909	thank feck your back Duncan __________________ .

27-10-2011, 07:51 PM	#5
northernjim Driving it like I nicked it Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: lancashire Posts: 2,082 Casino cash: $20572	__________________

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28-10-2011, 08:35 AM	#6
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CraigMillwardCroft CSL Register Uber-poster! Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Marlow Posts: 3,973 Casino cash: $18153	Very true

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