Not politically correct... But Funny

[Mark CSL]

I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get
reincarnated but must come back as a different creature.
She said she would like to come back as a cow.
I said, "You're obviously not listening".
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The wife has been missing a week now.
Police said to prepare for the worst.
So, I have been to the Charity shop to get all of her clothes back.
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At the Senior Citizens Center they had a contest the other day. I
lost by one point: The question was: Where do women mostly have
curly hair? Apparently the correct answer was Africa!!!
One of the other questions that I missed was to name one thing
commonly found in cells. It appears that Skousers is not the correct
answer either.
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There's a new Muslim clothing shop opened in our shopping center, but
I've been banned from it after asking to look at some of the new
bomber jackets.
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You can say lots of bad things about pedophiles but at least they
drive slowly past schools.
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A buddy of mine has just told me he's getting it on with his
girlfriend and her twin. I said "How can you tell them apart?" He
said "Her brother's got a mustache."
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Just put a deposit down on a brand new Porsche and mentioned it on
Facebook. I said, "I can't wait for the new 911 to arrive!" Next
thing I know 4,000 f....g Muslims have added me as a friend!!
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The Red Cross have just knocked at our door and asked if we could help
towards the floods in Pakistan. I said we would love to, but our
garden hose only reaches the driveway.
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Being a modest man, when I checked into my hotel on a recent trip,
I Said to the lady at the registration desk, "I hope the porn channel in
my room is disabled." To which she replied, "No, it's regular
people-porn, you sick bastard.
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