Some new one liners

[Mark CSL]

Why is it when your wife becomes pregnant, all her female friends rub
her tummy and say "congratulations "but none of them rub your dick and
say "well done"?

Paddy was in the delivery room when the midwife handed him a black baby
"Is this yours?" she asked.
"Probably." said Paddy "She burns everything else!"

Sex therapist claim that the most effective way to arouse your man is to
spend 10 minutes licking his ears!! Personally I think its bollocks!!

They reckon that Beer contains female hormones and I think they are
right. After 8 pints I talk shit and can't drive!

A mate of mine has just told me he's shagging his girlfriend and her
twin. I said "How can you tell them apart?"
He said "Her brother's got a moustache!"

A biker goes to the doctor with hearing problems. "Can you describe the
symptoms to me?" asked the doctor.
"Yes. Homer is a fat yellow lazy bastard and Marge is a skinny bird with
big blue hair."