Bounce
04-02-2012, 01:03 PM
Last night I reached for my liquid viagra and accidentally swigged from a bottle of Whiteout. I woke up this morning with a huge correction.
My girlfriend said she was leaving me due to my obsession with the 60's group The Monkees.
I thought she was joking ........ And then I saw her face......
My budgie broke his leg today so I made him a little splint out of a couple of matches. His little face lit up when he tried to walk.. Unfortunately, I had forgotten to remove the sandpaper from the bottom of his cage.
I got sacked last night from the Salvation Army soup kitchen, the ungrateful bastards.
All I said was, 'hurry up for Christ's sake ............... some of us have got homes to go to!
Women should be like golf caddies, either holding your balls or getting your bloody tee ready!
Last night I was sitting on the sofa watching TV when I heard my wife's voice from the kitchen, 'what do you feel like for dinner my love ...... chicken, beef or lamb?' I said, ' chicken please' She replied, 'You're having soup you fat bastard, I was talking to the cat!':clown::thumbs:
My girlfriend said she was leaving me due to my obsession with the 60's group The Monkees.
I thought she was joking ........ And then I saw her face......
My budgie broke his leg today so I made him a little splint out of a couple of matches. His little face lit up when he tried to walk.. Unfortunately, I had forgotten to remove the sandpaper from the bottom of his cage.
I got sacked last night from the Salvation Army soup kitchen, the ungrateful bastards.
All I said was, 'hurry up for Christ's sake ............... some of us have got homes to go to!
Women should be like golf caddies, either holding your balls or getting your bloody tee ready!
Last night I was sitting on the sofa watching TV when I heard my wife's voice from the kitchen, 'what do you feel like for dinner my love ...... chicken, beef or lamb?' I said, ' chicken please' She replied, 'You're having soup you fat bastard, I was talking to the cat!':clown::thumbs: