northernjim
07-12-2010, 01:23 PM
I had to post this really didn't I? :thumbs::clown:
NORTHERNERS
Once upon a time, in the Kingdom of Heaven , God went missing for
six days.
Eventually, Archangel Michael found him on the seventh day
resting.
He enquired of God, 'Where have you been?'
God pointed downwards through the clouds. Archangel Michael looked
puzzled and said, 'What is it?'
'It's a planet,' replied God, 'and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going
to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance.'
'Balance?' inquired Michael, still confused.
God explained, pointing down to different parts of the Earth.
'For example, North America will be a place of great opportunity
and wealth, while South America is going to be poor; the Middle East over
there will be a hot spot, and Russia will be a cold spot. Over there I've
placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black
people.'
God continued, pointing to the different countries.
This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be
very cold and covered in ice.'
The Archangel , impressed by God's work, then pointed to another
area of land and asked, 'What's that?'
'Ah,' said God. That's the North of England, the most glorious
place on earth. There are beautiful people, many impressive cities; it is the home of the
world's finest artists, musicians, writers, thinkers, explorers and
politicians.
The people from the North of England are going to be modest,
intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found travelling the world.
They'll be extremely sociable, hard-working and high-achieving, and they
will be known throughout the world as speakers of truth.'
Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, 'What
about balance God, you said there will be BALANCE!'
God replied very wisely, 'Wait till you see the bunch of tossers
I'm putting down South !
Damage waiver...............
This is something I received and may or may not be my own thoughts :whistle::birdman:
NORTHERNERS
Once upon a time, in the Kingdom of Heaven , God went missing for
six days.
Eventually, Archangel Michael found him on the seventh day
resting.
He enquired of God, 'Where have you been?'
God pointed downwards through the clouds. Archangel Michael looked
puzzled and said, 'What is it?'
'It's a planet,' replied God, 'and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going
to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance.'
'Balance?' inquired Michael, still confused.
God explained, pointing down to different parts of the Earth.
'For example, North America will be a place of great opportunity
and wealth, while South America is going to be poor; the Middle East over
there will be a hot spot, and Russia will be a cold spot. Over there I've
placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black
people.'
God continued, pointing to the different countries.
This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be
very cold and covered in ice.'
The Archangel , impressed by God's work, then pointed to another
area of land and asked, 'What's that?'
'Ah,' said God. That's the North of England, the most glorious
place on earth. There are beautiful people, many impressive cities; it is the home of the
world's finest artists, musicians, writers, thinkers, explorers and
politicians.
The people from the North of England are going to be modest,
intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found travelling the world.
They'll be extremely sociable, hard-working and high-achieving, and they
will be known throughout the world as speakers of truth.'
Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, 'What
about balance God, you said there will be BALANCE!'
God replied very wisely, 'Wait till you see the bunch of tossers
I'm putting down South !
Damage waiver...............
This is something I received and may or may not be my own thoughts :whistle::birdman: